


Love, Insecurity, and Soothing Realisations

by Diary



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron Dingle and Robert Sugden Get Married, Bechdel Test Fail, Bottle Episode Fic, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Declarations Of Love, Family, Introspection, Late Night Conversations, M/M, POV Aaron Dingle, POV Male Character, POV Queer Character, Romance, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 22:39:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9849677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: A look at Aaron and Robert on the first night after their private wedding. Complete.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Emmerdale.

Aaron had known Robert was planning something, but he hadn’t really been sure it involved the two of them or not.

Earlier, Robert had gently shaken him awake and set a plate of brekkie in his lap. “Come on, you only get so much sleeping in. The day still has to go on.”

Robert had been dressed, but Aaron had thought this could be easily remedied. He’d set the plate aside, pulled Robert down for a kiss, and when Robert broke it, stood up, and said, “Sorry, mate, but I have a crazy day ahead. Eat up before your food goes cold,” he’d known something was going on.

Not counting this, there had been two times Robert had refused to take things to a deeper, more physical level. The first was on the layby when he’d driven off, and the second was on the park bench near Sandra’s when he’d refused to kiss Aaron.  

Before Aaron could consider the reasons why or settle on any of the feelings swirling around inside him, there was a knock on the door, and Liv demanded, “All decent in there?”

Aaron had eaten his breakfast, grudgingly gotten dressed, tried and failed to lure Robert back into the bedroom, ended up in Cain’s boot, and now, while not strictly legal, he finds himself married.

When he thinks of sex, he’s always tried to make sure he doesn’t lump what Gordon did to what he’s done with others, and he usually tries not to think of Vic and Holly, either. The first is always awkward due to him and Robert being together, and thinking of Holly in any fashion is always tinged with pain, regret, and some anger he’ll admit probably isn’t fair to her.

The first time with Jackson, Jackson had made him feel safe and happy, but there had still been nervousness, insecurity, and a small amount of fear. Later, with Ed, he hadn’t really been afraid, but the nervousness and insecurity made a recurrence and didn’t fully disappear until a month or two after they’d settled in France.

In what might be irony, he’d had no nervousness or insecurity on the layby or in the garage with Robert, and now, he and Robert have gotten so used to one another’s bodies and done so many different things in bed, sex with Robert is a completely normal, natural aspect of their life.

The ironic part comes in here: He and Robert are finally alone in their room, and for the first time ever, he’s nervous and a bit insecure about sex with Robert.

 _My husband_ , pops into his head. _I’m married. I’m married to Robert._

He would have happily married Jackson if Jackson had agreed when he brought it up, but until now, now until he got it, he didn’t realise how much he wanted to be married to Robert.

Suddenly, he finds himself against the wall with Robert undoing his tie. “Told ya I was going to marry you. Are you happy?”

Feeling his mouth go dry, he can only nod.

Robert kisses him, and getting lost in it, he groans when Robert pulls away and catches his hands before they can finish undoing Robert’s belt.

“Whatever happens tomorrow, you’re going to focus on keeping yourself safe and healthy, not worrying about Liv and me, yeah,” Robert says. “I’m going to wait for you, and when it’s finally over, we’re going to make this legal, and you, me, and Liv will be a proper little family. We’ll live at the Mill, deal with all her stunts, argue over tea and telly, and nothing and no one is going to tear us asunder. I’ve never meant anything more than when I said ‘til death do us part’.”

Aaron nods.

He realises: There’s a possibility Robert won’t wait and, even if he does, might still one day be unfaithful. This is a possibility for all couples. While he never will, Aaron himself could cheat someday.

But it’s simply a possibility, and looking at Robert right now, he finds himself truly believing Robert loves him and Liv, wants only him, and will be happy with them.

Knowing him, there will be times old doubts will reappear sharper than ever, but for the sake of his husband and little sister, he’s going to try to recall how feels during this moment during such times.

“Yeah,” he says. “I know you love me, Robert. And you know I love you.”

A soft, bright smile settles on Robert’s face, and he nods. “That’s right. I love you, and I know it’s the same.”

Moving his hands back down to Robert’s belt, he says, “Then, let’s focus on tomorrow, tomorrow. I’d say it was past time we were together as husbands, eh?”

Letting out a sigh, Robert presses closer against him. “Past time,” he agrees.

They end up on the bed, and later, when Robert’s wrapped around him and sleep is close to overtaking him, he resolves he’ll do whatever he has to keep himself alive in prison, and when he’s out, he’ll try to make Robert feel as happy and safe as Robert’s made him.  


End file.
